


To Be Understood

by RaiBread



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, widomauk if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 17:16:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15199628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiBread/pseuds/RaiBread
Summary: After another heated conflict with the party Caleb is frustrated and confused as to why he has such a hard time getting his thoughts across to the others. Molly may not be the company he needs right now, but at least he seems to understand.





	To Be Understood

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've written and uploaded anywhere in years so excuse my rustiness at it. This was just a little self-indulgent thing I did to deal with my own frustrations about trouble communicating. I made the decision to only call Molly "Mollymauk" because I don't think Caleb has ever called him Molly. I immediately regretted that choice, but dammit I'm committed! If you'd like a song to listen to while reading, You Are The Moon is a good one.

Caleb walked quickly through the night, trying to get away from... everything. His face burned red and he couldn't hear anything over his own scattered thoughts. Why couldn't they just understand him? Surely his words weren't that confusing? It all made sense in his head! Why didn't his words make as much sense? Why could no one understand?

"Hey!" he was snapped out of his thoughts by someone grabbing his arm. He pulled away and whirled around at them, meeting a pair of ruby red eyes in the darkness. It was Mollymauk, who now stood a pace back, hands in front of him in a non-threatening pose. "Hey," he repeated, more softly this time. "It's okay. Are you alright?" The tiefling's face was full of concern.

"I am fine, yes," Caleb managed to huff out before turning away and continuing to walk, albeit at a less frantic pace. He could hear Mollymauk following behind him.

"I know things got heated back there, but you shouldn't just take off on your own in the middle of the night."

"I can take care of myself," Caleb growled.

"Experience says otherwise."

They walked in silence for a bit before Caleb finally came to a stop. His anger was slowly, painfully being replaced by doubt.  
"Was I wrong?" he didn't face Mollymauk as he asked. Despite declaring himself a purveyor of bullshit, Caleb found that Mollymauk could be trusted to tell the truth in such situations. He was honest where it counted.

"No," The answer was simple, concise. Which wasn't really what Caleb needed

He sat in the grass, heart still pounding from the brisk walk, or maybe his emotions. Mollymauk sat down beside him, leaving a decent space between them.  
"Then why do they all seem to think otherwise? What did I do wrong?" He balled his hands into fists in his lap, the rushing of blood in his ears starting to drown out the world again. Why will they not understand?

"You're just bad at words, Caleb." The answer was so simple Caleb couldn't stop a short laugh escaping his throat.

"I go over my thoughts in my head, over, and over to try and make them make sense, where there can be no confusion, but it always ends the same!" He pounded his fist on the ground beside him, the soft earth cushioning the blow.

Mollymauk leaned back on his hands, staring up at the stars. "Words are hard, man."

These overly simple answers were beginning to frustrate Caleb. In an impulsive fit he pulled out a handful of grass and threw it at Mollymauk, but the individual blades drifted to the ground between them. He thought he could make out a smile on the tiefling's face.  
"Why do you never say anything helpful?" he squinted at him through the darkness.

"Like what?" Mollymauk turned his head to look at Caleb, who quickly averted his gaze. It was quiet between them as Caleb thought about that.

"You seem to understand what I mean when I talk, ja?" He asked, more quietly.

"Ja?" Mollymauk mimicked back, and Caleb wasn't sure if he was mocking him or just trying to be cute.

He frowned at him. "Why is it that you can understand me when the others cannot?"

Mollymauk took a while to think of an answer to that one, and Caleb joined him in looking at the stars. "I guess because I'm weird," Caleb was going to question the significance of that but Mollymauk continued. "And you're weird. I mean we're all a little weird, but I think you and I are a step above the rest. And, I dunno, I like weird. Weird is interesting. And I was in the circus, everyone was weird. I guess weird is my second language. Or maybe first..."

They sat in silence for a long time after that, watching the stars and letting the day's conflicts melt away into the earth beneath them. Caleb had a thought, and a stinging sensation built in his throat. He tried to swallow it, and asked a final question.  
"Mollymauk," he started, then paused, going over his wording again, trying to find the best way to get his thoughts across. Mollymauk waited patiently. "In the future, when I am talking to the others..." he swallowed again. "Could you help me? Could you help them understand me?"

Mollymauk turned to him now, and in a rare occurrence Caleb met his eyes, if only briefly. It was hard to read Mollymauk's expression in the darkness, but he might have looked surprised.  
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I can do that I think. Just um, just ask." He seemed taken off guard by the question, and quickly returned his gaze to the sky. Caleb wasn't sure he'd ever seen Mollymauk flustered before. It was a nice change of pace.

"Hey, are you guys dead out there?" Beauregard's voice echoed slightly in the relative quiet of the night.

"Yes!" Mollymauk shouted back at her.

"Cool, well we're going to sleep so like, if Caleb could come back and do his string thing..."  
They both sighed before standing, Caleb groaning quietly as gravity took its toll on his joints. He felt a hand clap him on the back and stumbled forward as Mollymauk walked past him. He followed the glitter of jewelry in moonlight back toward their camp.


End file.
